I didn't shave. On purpose
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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