There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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