it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
