I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
