Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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