it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
