Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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