He asked me if I "almost moaned"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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