i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
