The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
how does that bad decision feel?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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