We're facebook friends in real life
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
