get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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