just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
