I love black thongs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
