oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
