3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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