It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
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