I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am naked and annoyed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
