Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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