ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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