Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
