Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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