C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
