I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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