I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
