Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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