I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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