I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
