I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
