I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
