dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
