i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
