I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
