Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
