and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
