he thought i was a dude.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
