I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
