Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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