I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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