apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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