Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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