i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
