Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
