Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Do vagina's smell?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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