i think my tv is drunk
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
