Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
