I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
