Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
