i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
