Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
birth control should be required to get into college
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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