Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
