after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
