I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
